It Matters

There is so much sadness around me right now as I type up this post.

I lost a niece two weeks ago that, until recently, I never knew existed- -and I never got to meet her. It's a complicated story.  I grieve for her father (my brother) and her sister.  I also grieve that I never got the chance to hug her and love on her as an aunt should.

In one of my buildings in which I teach, we just lost a very young colleague, a teacher who was a mere 30 years old left behind 3 extremely young children and a husband.  She died of cancer.  I think back to the end of last school year when I sat beside her during an assembly and the two of us cut up the entire time, end of the year "punchy-ness."

My own sister, whom I grew up with, am very close to, love more than life itself, is facing cancer.  She has a wonderful attitude about it.  She doesn't let it control her life and right now she is able to live her life as if she doesn't have this horrible illness.  Yet, in my mind I am terrified that I am going to lose my sister and I truly don't know what I will do when that happens.

These are "real-to-me" reasons for grieving.  You would think that with all this going on, I would have enough to focus on without taking on more grief voluntarily.  But, I can't help it.  I also grieve for our country and for the testimony of my Savior.  And the genesis of this grief sprouted from the election of President Donald Trump.

I went to college at Liberty Baptist College, under the tutu-ledge of Dr. Jerry Falwell SR.  I got saved on that campus and it was truly salvation, both spiritually and physically as I was contemplating suicide at the time.  I had a plan and was ready to carry it out.  Then came Jesus.  And it's because of my relationship with Jesus that I am having a really difficult time with President Trump.  See, I believe that character counts.

Donald Trump is a liar, a thief, a cheating husband, a manipulator, a narcissist.  He does things in illegal, unethical, underhanded ways. He is unrepentant.

What I honestly cannot fathom is this:  people put this man into office because they were tired of the political games from the status quo- -many of these people who voted him in are Christians, born-again Believers of Christ.  They are children of God.  They are Jesus followers.  They wanted a return to Christian values.   Why are these folks not holding this man accountable?  Why are they excusing his behavior?  I am truly confused and I grieve for the testimony of my Lord.

If you truly think that Donald Trump is a man of God, please answer my questions about this man.  Help clear up my confusion.  If I can calmly explain my distaste of this man without feeling that you are repugnant for disagreeing with me, why can  you not explain your love for him without hating me for disagreeing?  Why can't we talk this out?  Why can't we come to a meeting of the minds, an understanding of each other?  Why?

We are coming up on another election.  I want to understand why you feel I should vote for someone who has purposely violated every commandment.  Don't justify his behavior by comparing it with a past election and the candidates.  Don't use the wrongs committed by another to excuse the actions of this man.

I want real conversation on both political issues and moral behavior.  They are two separate items; yet, to me they are both important.

My Museum

This past weekend my cousin Todd came to visit with his doggy child, Whisky.  Whisky, like most children, is very curious and wanted to explore my home -- all of my home -- including the upstairs even though Todd had chosen to sleep in our basement guest room.  Of course, I didn't care.  I told Todd to let him upstairs so Todd took him up.  While up there, Todd commented on the three rooms that were upstairs, two bedrooms and an office.  He said that my house looked like a museum with all the old stuff I have.  Now, I am not a clutter-bug.  I am not a hoarder.  However, I do have a lot of old stuff.  Most of this "stuff" did not belong to me originally; but rather, it came from either my Mother-In-Love's home or my Aunt Mary Lee's home.  This stuff would most likely have ended up in the garbage if I had not laid claim to it.  And of course, my hubby wonders why I did.  It's going to sound crazy, I know; but these items make me feel close to those people who are no longer around.  So let me show you my "museum."

So when you first walk into my home the dining room in going to be on your right.  I love my dining room even though we don't use it unless we have a family gathering.  The table and china cabinet belonged to my Mother-In-Love.  She and Pops purchased this for their first home even before my husband, Mark, was born.  I also have a secretary in this room that belonged to Mark's grandmother.  The china cabinet holds two complete sets of china.  One of these sets was my MIL's and the other belonged to my Great Aunt Annie.  The secretary holds crystal, all of the crystal is vintage and belonged to various members of my family.  There is an antique occasional table holding a vintage lamp that looks like an old phone as well as a sculpture of the last supper which was a gift to my In-Laws at their wedding.  The curio cabinet in the back holds wedding keepsakes from our wedding as well as lots of other antique items, including some small porcelain dolls that had been my Granny Dot's.


Straight ahead of you is the living room.  This room only has a couple of old items in it like a record player stand that was my MIL's and an old tea table that belonged to my grandmother.

I love all the old items that are above the shelves in my kitchen.  I have a couple of dolls that my MIL took the time to make me as well as some old glass bottles and tin toys.  The "Kiss My Grits" towel was my Aunt Mary Lee's.



In my breakfast nook there is an old stereo that was my mother's.





Straight up the stairs is my office.  This is probably the most cluttered of all my rooms as it is filled with items collected from 34 years of teaching.  The little blue-checked double chair was my MIL's.  The foot hassock was my great Aunt-Vera's and is filled with old 45 records.

    

To the right of the office is bedroom #1 upstairs.  The thing I love the most in this room is the vanity that sits just to your left when you enter the room.  This vanity belonged to my grandmother and was used by all three of my aunts when they were living at home.  You can't see them well from this picture but on the chest of drawers in the right corner stand a set of Flamenco, or Spanish dancers that stood in my Aunt Mary Lee's house during my growing up years.  I thought back then that they were Barbie dolls and for the life of me, I could not understand why I was not allowed to play with them  Beside the Flamenco is an antique jewelry box, black with Japanese art painted on it.  This box is filled with OLD jewelry.  I had it appraised and was startled at the value it was given.  It still has its key and after the appraiser put a little oil on the lock, it works beautifully.  It also has a music box inside and that was cleaned and now works really well too.   

Finally, to the left of the office is bedroom #2.  This bedroom has the white furniture my sister and I used as we were growing up.  It also has a love seat and two chairs that are over 100 years old which belonged to my grandmother.  The peacock chenille spread belonged to my Great-Aunt Vera.  The dolls on the bed are special too.  The white porcelain doll was my Great-Aunt Annie's doll and is wearing her christening gown.  The other doll, the little African-American baby doll is a real rubber baby doll.  Dolls  are not made of rubber like  this anymore. I found her at Goodwill. I had one as a child that my Aunt Odessa gave me.  I am not a black child so I have no idea why she gave me a black baby doll but I loved that doll.  I don't have a clue what happened to that doll but this one reminded me so much of mine that I just had to rescue her from Goodwill's clutches!  These are not the only dolls in my home and, yes, there are folks, (my hubby being one of them) who tell me that my dolls are creepy.  I don't care a fig what they say.  They remain on display.  

        

These are just a few of my treasures.  I have more that are not visible from these photos but are on display in my home.  I don't worship these items but I do treasure them.  They are reminders of people that I love and cared about.  Laugh at me if you must, dear cousin, and anyone else who wants to come in and roll their eyes at my museum.  My husband reminds me all the time that once God calls me home, all my earthly treasures will be put into an auction or into a trash bin and that's OK.  Until then, I will treasure them along with the memories of my loved ones.

Whisky, I am glad that you came and gave me a reason to reminisce about the past. You  are welcome anytime!  Todd, you are welcome to tag along with Whiskey when he decides that he wants to visit again.

Saying Goodbye Before You Say Hello

Wednesday afternoon, September 18, 2019, was an emotional time for me.  After work I went to the Amherst Cemetery to see the graves of two members of my family.  One was my father - not my daddy, but rather, my biological father.  The other was my niece who is the daughter of a brother I just recently met.   I feel very cheated by the fact that I never got to physically meet either of these souls face to face in this life. I truly hope that I get to spend some quality time with both of these people during Eternity.  I know that this sounds crazy but I miss these two even though I never got to meet them, especially Samantha, my niece.

Working with Beginning Professionals

I am a mentor teacher for Amherst County Public Schools, or at least I was one up until this year.  I stepped out of mentoring this year because I am feeling very overwhelmed by life in general and I decided to let some things go.  I already miss my role as a mentor but I know that I did the right thing. 

Still, I love to discuss pedagogy.  That is why I thoroughly enjoy when Dr. Sam Smith brings a group of students out to Amherst Elementary to see the STEAM lab which is what happened on Tuesday, September 17th. 

Picking Up the Pen . . . Again

So, I haven't blogged since 2012 when we were building our house.  Well, here it is 2019 and we have been in our home for 7 years.  So much has happened in the past 7 years.  We moved in with my sweet mother-in-law who was getting up in years and could not safely live by herself anymore.  There were times that she would call us up in the middle of the night because a light bulb had blown out and the lamp needed to work right then.  Or there was the time that she called in the middle of the night and wanted my husband (her son) to go get fish oil so that her heart medication would work. I tried to tell her the medication would work fine without fish oil but in the end, my husband climbed out of bed that night and went to buy fish oil.  Thank God for all night stores like Walmart! 

Well moving Mom in with us didn't make things any easier.  In months it became evident that something was medically wrong and within a year we had a double diagnosis of kidney failure and Alzheimers.  In April of 2016, my saintly, sweet mother-in-law moved residences once again.  This time she left Earth to live in the mansion that had been prepared for her.  (John 14:2) 

The picture here with this post is Mom in December 2013.  She is holding her great-grandson, Ryan.  Ryan is my daughter's first baby.  This is how I like to remember Mom, smiling, enjoying herself.  She loved to read the Bible.  She loved people.  She loved me and I needed that love desperately. 

The Easter following this picture Mom ended up in the hospital because her blood sugar dropped down to 30 three times in one week.  It was only after the third time that we discovered the kidney failure and at that time she was pronounced stage 4. 

It has taken me an additional 3 years to find the motivation to return to my blog.   My intent is to keep a document of happenings here on my blog that I want to remember because I am tired of Facebook.  But that is for another post. 

House Raising

I can't believe how fast our new home is going up! It's very exciting. It seems as if every time we go out there the amount of work that has been done is doubled.

Foundation

Gail and I drove by the house site this afternoon on the way back from a Board of Supervisors' meeting. They have laid a foundation. Yay! However, every step closer is also another fear I have. I am so scared that something will go wrong on the finance front. I am not sure I will live through this summer.