Day 11 of My Picture Project

Today's post is suppose to be something I hate. Although naming a hated thing is easy, writing about this one is not. That's because I have been guilty of doing the very thing which I hate.

I can't stand to see anyone, especially a child being abused. My picture here shows an adult yelling at a child. Most of the time the abuser is a parent or guardian who never feels that what they are doing is wrong. Every child will misbehave at some time. That is a guarantee. However, discipline should NEVER be done when you are angry. Telling a child that they are "the worst ever seen", or "you have never in your life. . .", are phrases that are painful to children. Spankings and beatings are two different things. When you grab objects such as fly swatters, belts, or switches and leave marks that last for more than a couple of minutes, you are abusing your child. I am a child who grew up with an angry parent. This parent, to this day, refuses to believe that abuse ever occurred and I doubt strongly that I will ever hear the words, "I am sorry." Denial does not negate reality but forgiveness on my part has come.

Sad thing, as stated before, I did end up repeating the cycle with my own children. I have apologized (repeatedly) to my kids and even though both acknowledge the abuse if asked about it, both have forgiven me too. It takes help to stop a detrimental behavior; I had to ask for help for the rage-aholic that defined who I was. We parent like we were parented.

My help came by way of the two people mentioned in day nine of my project. They convinced me to seek counseling and the counselor was the most compassionate but honest man of God I have ever met. After six months of counseling, I worked in a recovery group for about 4 years. Today I am blessed and honored to be allowed to co-facilitate this same group. I am thankful that I can give back some of the comfort that was given to me. The recovery group is part of TRBC's Freedom Ministries. Through Freedom, I have learned that there is a lie we learn to believe in during our childhood years. This lie is that our self worth is equal to our performance plus other's opinions (sw=op + oo). The truth is that we are completely loved, fully forgiven, and totally accepted by the Father. Our self worth is whatever God says we are worth. And we are worth so much that He sent His son to die for us.

The thing I like about this picture is the little girl. The more I reflect on this child, the more she appears to have what it takes to survive what she is being put through. My prayer is that she doesn't merely survive. I pray that she finds recovery and that some one is there to show her how beautiful and important she is to the Father that created her to have a relationship with Him.

This video from You Tube is a song by Matthew West called Broken Girl. Although it speaks about sexual abuse, it can be applied to any type of abuse, sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional. You don't have to stay broken!